Office Jokes

The expected unbelievable has happened -

Narendra Modi has led the nation to its greatest grassroots revolution since the sun set on one-party dominance in 1977. the challenger from Gujarat has single handedly made the BJP India's new dominant party with a clear majority of 283 seats (NDA 338) at the time of writing, reducing the Congress to its worst ever tally of 45 (UPA 58) (the figures may change slightly at final count).

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
I don't have an iPhone.

Smart boss + smart employee = profit.

Smart boss + dumb employee = production.

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion.

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.

A Small Boy Took A Knife And Wrote His Girlfriends Name 0n His 

Hand..After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..

Why ???Paining ???

No !!..Then ???

Spelling Mistake !!!

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."

The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."

"Yes I do!"

"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"

"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."

"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"

"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."

"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"

"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."

"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"

"Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of
the cage."

Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World... 


E-Mail To Email 

Female To Female...:-)

Two young pharmacists are talking professionally at their office.

Male Pharmacist. : What do you want this time, with coat or without coat ?

Female Pharmacist: With coating, because I don't want to release granules earlier.

Male Pharmacist: So, Shall I start molding?

Female Pharmacist: No, No... first close the door and window and switch off, because this work is light sensitive. :P

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you. :)

Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives

"Monopoly is always damaging"


Competition improves service" :P

Officer:you are going to be hanged on Monday.

Prisoner:oh please not on Monday.


Prisoner:Its such a a bad way to start the week..  :P

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto!

Banta asks : Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?

Santa : Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’.   :D:D:D:D


A man went to face an interviewer.

Board of Directors asked him, “Tell the difference between “COMPLETE” and “FINISH"?"

The man replied, I am clarifying with the example, “When u marry a right person you are “COMPLETE”


when you marry the wrong one you are “FINISH”. 

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